Years ago, during one of my first visits to Israel, one of my mentors taught me that to be in relationship with Israel is a matter of hugging and wrestling. One can and should, he taught, embrace Israel as a place, a people and nation. Yet he also taught that it is important to wrestle with Israel too – with its history, its leaders, its challenges, and even its actions. This notion of duality, grounded in the biblical story of Jacob wrestling with an angel, has stuck with me ever since. It is the way in which I have often articulated the complexity of my personal relationship with Israel, and the way I have tried to educate others to encounter Israel as well.
Since that first lesson, I have visited Israel dozens of times. I have deep friendships with Israelis and Palestinians of all backgrounds and beliefs. I feel intertwined with the region and it’s Jewish, Arab, Christian and Druze residents on a daily basis. Yet now, even as I hold Israel and the Palestinian Territories in my thoughts and prayers and send virtual hugs to those that are in the crossfire of this terrible surge of violence, I am once again wrestling with Israel.
And I know I am not alone.
My colleagues are wrestling with Israel. My daughters are wrestling with Israel. Members of communities I am a part of… some even that I helped create… are wrestling with Israel.
Let’s be clear. The cycle of distrust and violence between Israelis and Palestinians is as painful as it is historic. It is rooted in a conflict over land and of sovereignty that has complex narratives and dueling histories. It is also a conflict rooted in a lack of leadership on both sides; a lack of leadership that leaves Palestinians, Israelis, and their respective allies with a shared sense of anger and futility.
But this current outbreak is not without causation. No matter how tenuous the calm has been over the last several years, no matter how much history there is that led to this moment, it was the disturbing and unjust actions of Israeli authorities in the East Jerusalem neighborhood of Sheikh Jarrah that lit the most recent match. It is the insensitivity of the actions of right-wing officials that instigated the current conflict and helped set the region aflame.
These are facts.
And yet.
The opportunism of forces bent on the destruction of Israel also are to blame for the current deadly escalation of violence in Israel and the Palestinian Territories. Amidst the injustice of the actions of Israeli authorities in Sheikh Jarrah, of which Palestinians have just reason to be outraged, amoral terrorists in Gaza are exploiting the moment to indiscriminately fire rockets at innocent Israeli civilians. Hamas and other paramilitary groups are not targeting their rockets at Israeli military sites. They are targeting civilians. And if it wasn’t for Israel’s Iron Dome defenses, countless Israelis would also be wounded or dead.
These too are the facts.
These two sets of facts, and the multiplicity of narratives that run alongside them, are complex, multilayered, and frustrating. They are not black and white and they offer no easy interpretation. They are nuanced, and they demand not only careful attention, but also thoughtful understanding.
But sadly that isn’t the world we live in. We live in a world of insta-images and bite-size tweets. We live in a time of fierce distrust in media, and equally alarming distrust of one another. We are exhausted from politicians who have antagonized us, a pandemic that has sickened us, and media that enrages us. So many of us are tired and we feel angry at the injustices we see occurring in our names. Many of us are also passionate and empathetic for those who we see being harmed and oppressed. And we want to share how we feel, if not because it changes things, but perhaps because it shows how we have changed.
I feel this way too.
Over my career, I have helped bring thousands of leaders to Israel. Leaders who are influential in their industries and those who use their platforms to promote positive change through business, culture and activism. In my work with them I promised them one thing. I wouldn’t advance an agenda I didn’t believe in nor would I want them to believe in anything that wasn’t true. What I wanted them to know was that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is complex, it is difficult, and it is demanding of our compassion and creativity. I have never wavered from those ideals.
Yet now I too am confronted with a new chapter of this complex conflict. Just before the flames of the current conflict engulfed the region, I shared in the enthusiasm that Israel was on the verge of a new era – a political governing coalition that (before this current flare-up) anticipated including Arab leaders. Yet it is the actions of Israel’s current right-wing leaders, leaders set on eviction and expulsion of residents of Sheikh Jarrah, that instigated the very violence that puts that potentially transformative coalition at risk.
The edge of a better future for Israelis and Palestinians is right in front of us; yet now a valley of fear and anger sits between here and there.
So I am wrestling.
How so?
I am wrestling as an person of commitment and compassion. My recent days have been consumed with worry for my friends and colleagues in Israel and the Palestinian Territories. I am wrestling with the fact that the valid and appropriate aspirations of the Palestinians for their own national home, living in peace side by side with Israel, are being deeply injured, as is Israel’s sense of stability and security. And I am worried that this violence will only beget more violence. While I understand and acknowledge the deep pain and anger felt by the Palestinian people as a result of these actions, especially during the end of Ramadan, I also feel the pain and fear of Israelis who did not seek this current outburst of violence, but are also victims of it.
I am heartbroken for the children of Gaza, and I am heartbroken for the children of Israel. And I am wrestling with how to say that in ways that are both heard and helpful.
I am wrestling with Israel as a professional. As an advisor who helps foster optimistic ideas and leadership both inside and outside the Jewish community, I am struggling with the discourse I see on social media. On one hand, smartphone videos and pictures are showing the pain and tragedy of the current conflict in visceral ways, and in important ways that allow Palestinians to share narratives that might not otherwise be heard. This is not a bad thing, in fact, to many it is helpful in balancing the narratives that shape the contours of the conflict. Nor are passionate messages of solidarity for Palestinians, as well as for Israelis, inherently a bad thing. Now is a time for radical empathy and righteous anger, and social media is an important venue to express it.
Yet I also see social media accounts on both sides propagating myths and untruths, and amplifying voices that seek to exploit the moment to spread hate not hope. In my humble opinion, now is a time to use our platforms to reinforce an unwavering commitment to the recognition of the equally valid claims by both Jew and Palestinians for national homelands… and to pray for peace. Those who negate the existence of one in the name of the other, or demonize one or the other, are not helping solve the conflict – they are helping expand it.
I am wrestling with Israel as a father. My children were 11, 9 and 5 when the last major outbreak of Israeli and Palestinian violence occurred. They are now 18, 16 and 12, and see the world not only through different eyes, but through the lens of social media as well. They too are struggling with the current conflict, and are having difficulty in engaging with the issues online in ways that make them feel psychologically safe as teenagers. They understand facts and arguments, but it is the irrationality and emotionality of the debaters that trouble them, especially some of the most heated anti-Israel messages.
I am wrestling with Israel as an opponent of the Occupation. The now decades-long occupation by Israel of Palestinian territory and Palestinian people is a stain on the national character and aspirations of Israel. It is a cancer that has mestastasized for too long under the current right-wing Israeli government, and its symptoms are getting worse. As a Jewish American, I have long opposed the expansion of the settlement enterprise and the forcible ejection of Palestinians from their land. The actions taken in Sheikh Jarrah are not made in my name and I know many American and Israeli Jews who share that opinion. Yet I also wrestle with how to share those criticisms without enabling less valid and even malicious criticisms of Israel as well.
I am wrestling with Israel as an advocate for racial justice and social equality. I know that for many of my friends who are deeply engaged in the work of racial and reparative justice in America and around the world, the plight of the Palestinians is inextricably seen through the lens of racial injustice. I too have opened my eyes to how the long history of racial injustice and oppression appears intersectional with the Palestinian national cause. While I forcefully reject the arguments that Israel is an apartheid or colonial state, I wrestle with the truth that some of Israel’s actions do have the hallmark of an oppressor, not of its Arab citizens, but of Palestinians under the Occupation. While I take pride in the fact that Israel is a democracy (as equally wounded as American democracy is) and includes Arab voices among its elected leaders, I cannot ignore that actions taken by Israel’s current governing coalition push the nation farther, not closer, from its democratic ideals of justice and equality for all who it has power over.
I am wrestling with Israel as a community leader. Even though I now have no formal role leading some the communities I helped create and evolve, I have a sense of moral responsibility to speak the truth to them, even if it is uncomfortable. And the truth is that I am pained by the way the right-wing Israeli government has treated Palestinians, just like I was pained by how the right-wing Trump administration treated… well, everybody. I am pained by people who refuse to say that is actually happening. And I am also pained by those who are attacking Israel as an illegitimate nation and denying its right for self-defense. I am wrestling with how to share those thoughts with people who have trusted me and looked up to me, and how to respond to their legitimate concerns and critiques while also holding my principles and values with clarity.
Last, but not least, I am wrestling with what to do next. How can I contribute, in positive ways, to those who seek clarity or comfort in the context of the current crisis? How can I help lift up voices that need to be heard on both sides of the conflict? And most of all, how can I shine a light on ways to help those in need, the innocent victims on both sides of this terrible tragedy? How do I say that I passionately stand both with Israelis and with Palestinians, even in a time of violent conflict?
So yes, in the words of my old friend, I am hugging and wrestling with Israel, and I have no easy answers. But I refuse to give up searching for them.
And I hope you won’t either.
Did this post strike a chord? Make you angry? Do you have ideas or opinions you want to share? Suggestions of ways we can help make a difference? Please email me at seth@appliedoptimism.com. I would appreciate hearing what you are thinking.